Father's Day Blues

So I just had one of the weirdest Father’s day of my life.

My Dad and I Always Had a Great Time Together

I woke up feeling depressed. The day started with the overwhelming realization that I was going to spend my third Father’s Day without my Dad. It’s been nearly three years since he passed away suddenly, and I miss him every single day. The pain has subsided, but the constant reality of his absence remains. It’s a hollow feeling in my heart that I don’t believe will ever be filled. My Dad was an amazing man, gentle, kind, loving, intelligent and incredibly funny in that bad pun sort of way. His laughter, his smile and his hugs and general warmth are sorely missed.

But this was not the only feelings I had for the day, no. In fact, there are two other fathers in this family now. Adam, who is the father of my first three nephews (Mikey, Aiden and Kale) and now Bryan the father of my fourth nephew (Sean). For Adam this was his sixth or seventh father’s day. And for Bryan it was his first. I love my nephews and I love both of my brother-in-laws. So incredibly different people they both are. Neither of them are carbon copies of my father. Indeed, my sisters definitely did not “marry their Dad” as people are so often quoted as saying. No, they are two very different men, with very different tastes and attitudes about so many things in life. But they are both incredibly loving fathers who I know would do anything for their sons and their wives.

So I spent the morning having breakfast with both of these young families. My families. My sisters and their husbands and kids. It was nice to be with them all. The nephews, from Mikey all the way to Sean, are always sure to make me smile. But it’s also hard to sit there with them, knowing that my Dad will have never known Kale or Sean. Knowing that as much as Mikey remembers of his Grandpa Mick right now, those memories are likely to fade with time. It’s sad. And on Father’s Day I sense that more than on probably any other day of the year.

After breakfast I went to work at the Polo club. It was training day for Missy. This carried with it even more mixed emotions for Father’s Day. Missy is going through her own difficulties with her father, Jack. Jack may not have any more Father’s Days left either. It’s terribly sad, and I pray this isn’t the case for Missy and her family. Hopefully it won’t be. But the reality is that I know my friend is closer to that experience than any of us would hope and sitting there with her on Father’s Day made me feel so much pain and sadness it was almost overwhelming.

I know I have a tendency to sound like I’m always depressed, or that I am very sad all the time. This is not the case, there is much to be happy about in my life. I have two wonderful sisters with amazing sons whom I love very much. I have two brother-in-laws who I am happy to call my brothers. I have friends who bring out the best in me and help me overcome the worst and I am succeeding in business in ways I never imagined myself being able to as recently as a just last year. My Mother is still with us and her laughter and love are infectious. I have much going for me.

But still… on Father’s Day, I can’t help but remember, and miss the towering giant, incredibly simple and infinitely loving man that my Father was in my eyes.

Miss you, as always, Dad. I Love You.

New Specs

So, lost my specs a few weeks back. Think it was at Disneyland. That would make it Disneyland 2 – David 0. Seem to lose my specs at the park. Have to remember that when I’m there. Oy.

Bought some new specs tonight. What do you think?

Dave's New Specs

Dave's New Specs... You like?

It's a Huffy kind of Birthday!

My 35th B-Day gift, the Nel Lusso Huffy Cruiser!

My 35th B-Day gift, the Nel Lusso Huffy Cruiser!

So who would have guessed that my gift of choice for my 35th birthday would be a bike? A beach cruiser nonetheless. And who would have guessed my family would pull through on that wish and get me one of the coolest looking beach cruisers I could have hoped for?

It’s so cool. It’s got a very retro feel to it, right down to it’s 50’s era paint job. Simply gorgeous!

Thanks to Theresa and Bryan and Mom for such a great gift!

And thank you to Laura and Adam and Mikey and Aiden and Kale and Missy and Jess and Alissa and Steve L. and Nicole for coming to my house on Saturday to celebrate my birthday and T’s birthday. It was a wonderful party. Good food, good friends, good family and lots of karaoke and lumpia! My 35th B-Day FTW!

Loving my iPad

Apple iPad Product Launch

Here we are, having just purchased our iPads.

Well it’s been over a month now and I have to say it… I love my iPad.

This morning I was waiting in line at the DMV to renew my license. When I got there the line wrapped all the way around the building. So, I dutifully found my place at the back of the line and pulled out my iPad. For the next 40 minutes, while standing in broad daylight, I read the first five chapters of “Moby Dick”.

Yes Virginia, there is a readable screen in the daylight on the iPad.

It was great. Before I knew it I was at the front of the line being given a number to, you guessed it, wait in a different line.

No problem. Out came the trusty iPad, once again. Reading commenced, once again. And once again the time just flew by. With the minor interruption of one DMV employee who wanted a demonstration of the iPad and a brief discussion of what’s possible on it. She was thinking about getting a Kindle, but once she saw the broader usefulness off the iPad she was converted. I imagine she’ll have her iPad by the end of the week. 😉

Yes, there are shortcomings on the device currently. It’s still frustrating that there’s no printing from the device. But Steve Jobs sent an email out to someone yesterday assuring them that printing is coming to the iPad. So I can wait. It is also frustrating that there is no way to pull a Word Doc, or PPT or Excel file from a USB thumb drive. This would be very useful in the field when someone throws you a last minute file to edit and you have no WiFi signal, or additional computer on hand to send the file from. Perhaps this will be corrected in the future too? We’ll see.

But aside from some, “If A happens when I’m in B, then I can’t accomplish C” scenarios the iPad lives up to my expectations and exceeds them in most respects. And those ABC scenarios are not daily occurrences for me, and can usually be avoided with enough careful planning ahead of time.

Anyone else out there with an iPad with some thoughts to share?

Got my iPad

Well I have it. My very own iPad. Bryan and I went down to the Apple store at 5 this morning. First in line. Awesome. More details to come. But first impressions are very good! I love this thing.

That's 1t! 1'm done!

1 can’t take it anymore.

1’ve finally just had enough.

1’m tired of wondering where my life is going.

1’m tired of wondering where my next paycheck is coming from.

1’m tired.

1’m absolutely sick to death of pursuing dreams that are never fulfilled. Of “chasing the dragon” all the time. Creativity is sucking the life out of me. My life would be so much simpler if I was just another automaton like the majority of everyone else.

So that’s it. 1’m done.

1’m through pursuing this elusive dream 1 have of being an “Art1st”.

Goodbye films, goodbye art, goodbye music. 1’m through.

Beautiful Days Continue

I’m starting to think that I should start a new blog category called: Beautiful San Diego. I think that’s a great idea. It can be a blog area where I post my musings on the beauty of my favorite American City, post photos and video and remind myself and everyone who’ll read why I love living here. Yeah that’s a great idea.

Another Beautiful Day… and yet…

So it’s another beautiful day here in San Diego. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining and I can hear the surf pounding on the beach just a block or two from my home.

And yet, I don’t feel very happy today.

Oh! Don’t get me wrong… I don’t feel bad. I just don’t particularly feel “up” today. I can’t explain it. There’s nothing particular that’s got me in a funk. I just feel kind-of “funk’ish.”

I guess that it’s normal. We don’t all feel wonderful all of the time. And we certainly don’t feel all down all of the time. So sometimes we are bound to be somewhere in-between. Kind of in emotional limbo. I guess my only concern is that when I come out of limbo I want to find myself on the “up” side of it. Not on the “down.”

We’ll see how it goes.

Pushing Forward

So 2010 is shaping up to be a big year for me.

In January I set some pretty lofty goals for myself. Some of those goals I am not sure I’ll be able to meet, but the attempt is really what’s important here.

To this end, I have spent the last couple of weeks really evaluating a lot of my life’s daily schedules. Particularly I’ve been re-evaluating the worth of working for the Surf Soccer Club on a daily basis.

I have spent 6 of the last 9 years parking cars, picking up trash and enforcing the Polo Club rules for the Surf Soccer Club. It’s been a great job, one that helped get me through my studies at Palomar, gave me the freedom to shoot “What’s The Vig?” and helped nurse my entire family through the economic downturn last year. In short, I am very thankful for the opportunity I’ve had working for the club.

But it’s time to move on. I have big dreams and big ambitions and as I approach my 35th birthday I am realizing that my time is increasingly worth something to me. I’ve come to realize that any time I spend not pushing forward on my dream is, for me, wasted time. I don’t want to be working on anything anymore that doesn’t meet one of the following criteria:

  • Stimulate my creativity
  • Advance my career/company
  • Increase my knowledge/experience

Those three items are my main criteria for deciding if something is worth my time. You’ll note that money is not part of my criteria. This is important. I do not want to work just to make money. To me, if I am pursuing the things that stimulate me and make me happy I know the money will follow.

This is a big step. It’s kind of scary, but I know it’s the right choice for me. I’ve already lined up a bunch of freelance work in the A/V business, Dawson Digital’s video production and graphics business has been growing steadily over the past 6 months and our software company is just about to launch. It’s exciting times around here and I want to give it my all. It’s time to step up and make things happen!